Snowcation Embarrassment In Boyne Falls

by Trevor Harnden
Shield Staff

To some people winter means a time of hiding indoors for several months until all the cold weather and snow to go away. For me, it means grab your snowboard or skis and head for the slopes, for some fast past downhill action!

In January, I took a ski trip to the beautiful town of Boyne Falls. It was my first time attempting its slopes, so, of course, I was excited to explore the trails that I have never seen before. Plus Boyne Mountain is a pretty big hill, for not being an actual mountain, and that probably explains the expensive price for skiing there.

I’ve been skiing since I was 8 years old, I don’t mean to brag, but I’m pretty good. This particular weekend I wanted to “enhance” my skills, That’s right. I wanted to start doing some jumps.

I’ll be honest it was mostly because there was this cute girl watching, and if she could jump, then of course, I could too.

So here I am at the top of this hill looking down at all the ramps before me, scouting which one I should try without having any prior knowledge of knowing at all how to properly jump it.

Some time passes, and the girl, looks to me and says, “Are you gonna go?”  I knew it was my time to shine.

I position myself, and I start flying down the hill, which had eight or nine miniscule jumps. I probably could have selected those jumps, but my masculinity was on the line. I picked the most threatening looking jump there was, called tabletop.

I’m flying down this hill, with no intentions to slow down. I go flying up the ramp, and while I’m in the air, I think to myself. “I regret this!”

I come back down on the other side and land. On my tailbone.

I was done for the rest of the day, and all I left with was a black-and-blue tailbone and a bruised ego.